bes c i portland us

I just donapos;t understand how I can be so misunderstood by someone I care about so much. I just donapos;t understand how.

I hate how manipulative a person can get when theyapos;re feeling like crap. That might be me - a manipulative person. I just canapos;t deal with more heartache.

This all reminds me of the year I became friends with stalker Brian. That was the worst year of my life. And then two years after I met him, he turned crazy lunatic and stalked me and two other close girlfriends of mine. Iapos;m still sad about losing that friendship. We were good friends - and if he hadnapos;t been so crazy, we could still be friends. Damn that craziness.

Its strange how I keep thinking back to the worst year of my life - I thought I would have learned something from the experience so I wouldnapos;t feel like this ever again. I feel myself obsessing. And feeling depressed. In circles.

And, ironically, the friend I see most nowadays is Anthony - who is also a redhead and historically, had a big fat crush on me. Thank goodness heapos;s no longer interested and not crazy.

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