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Sorry, I promised a late Friday-reflection post but failed miserably. Reason is that I just had too good a sleep to start the day of, ha ha. No, really.

I had a good ten ten hour sleep, which was absolute heaven. The contrast of the rigorous activities and my soft bed saw to that. I woke up with a very good mood. As a result I absolutely took the day as easy as I can. I did nothing but lie down on my bed, watch TV, and play games all day.It was one of those lazier days, to be sure.

Everything went nicely today, too. My playing was great, better than itapos;s been for a long time. Barely any frustrations came about throughout. Thatapos;s why even until now Iapos;m in a good mood. Iapos;m actually sad that �I have to go to sleep now. I have to wake up early tomorrow. Tomorrow morning I have a scrim with our clan, and I spent a good part of the day practicing.

Anyway, tomorrow is work day. I havenapos;t thought of any work today whatsoever, another secret to my happiness. But tomorrow Iapos;m sure I�have a lot to do. If Iapos;m lucky then there isnapos;t. I still refuse, even up apos;till now, to think of work, so Iapos;ll leave that for tomorrow, apos;kay?

Respite gooood...
Adieu

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Im sorry...

I shoul have told you before
that my heart isnt yours anymore.
Feeling this wasnt ok,
seems like the love flew away

I wish i could write all again,
so we wouldnapos;t feel the pain.
The scars you blamed me for
are just lying under the floor

Tell me this was what you expected,
I just dont want to be hurted.
I know this could sound a little stupid
but i think iapos;ve just killed cupid.

Im sorry...
I wish this had never happend
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Hello

Heretofore, I hadnapos;t had allergic reactions to anything, but starting late this summer Iapos;ve occasionally been getting single hives with a dot in the middle - they look a little like zits, but donapos;t really behave like them (the surrounding redness is different) and they itch like mad.

Iapos;d thought they were spider bites, but last night two began to develop before I went to bed, so now I know theyapos;re not bites.

Has anyone had anything like this, and what was it? Iapos;ve started having acne reactions to white bread - are the hives related?

thanks so much for any insight you have into this
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I just donapos;t understand how I can be so misunderstood by someone I care about so much. I just donapos;t understand how.

I hate how manipulative a person can get when theyapos;re feeling like crap. That might be me - a manipulative person. I just canapos;t deal with more heartache.

This all reminds me of the year I became friends with stalker Brian. That was the worst year of my life. And then two years after I met him, he turned crazy lunatic and stalked me and two other close girlfriends of mine. Iapos;m still sad about losing that friendship. We were good friends - and if he hadnapos;t been so crazy, we could still be friends. Damn that craziness.

Its strange how I keep thinking back to the worst year of my life - I thought I would have learned something from the experience so I wouldnapos;t feel like this ever again. I feel myself obsessing. And feeling depressed. In circles.

And, ironically, the friend I see most nowadays is Anthony - who is also a redhead and historically, had a big fat crush on me. Thank goodness heapos;s no longer interested and not crazy.

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Mercury is finally direct. I donapos;t usually have issues with Mercury going retrograde but this cycle was particularly harsh - it even ended a friendship due to icky communication Iapos;m glad to see it over From astrology.com:

If your realms of communication and transportation appear to be on temporary hold, the main culprit is Mercury motionless. While it is not proper to blame a planet for a human difficulty, the ancient adage of astrology runs as follows -- as above, so below or whatapos;s true in the macrocosm is reflected in truth in the microcosm. Therefore, a celestial event can equate with a resonance on Earth, in humanity and within millions of human lives and relationships. Knowing how this works and when this occurs can save you a lot of emotional anguish and mental consternation. Before focusing on the key event of the day -- Mercury stopping its retrograde motion and turning forward (8 degrees of Libra at 1:07PM PDT) -- be aware that the Moon enters Taurus, the sign of its exaltation, at 2:32AM PDT (following a brief void cycle beginning at 12:37AM PDT). The lunar orb in earthy, rock-solid Taurus can assist you in dealing with financial matters and being more pragmatic as an entrepreneur. By the time Mercury officially changes gears from reverse to forward (1:07PM PDT), you will want to be focused on many of the key mercurial themes -- words and language, messages and information exchange, classes and conferences, the media and journalism, literary and educational pursuits, travel plans and transportation, mind-body and hand-eye coordination, health and diet, nutrition and medicine, wind and weather changes, doubts and worries, theft and lies. Mercury remains in direct motion until January 11, 2009 when it will once again go retrograde at 8 degrees of Aquarius for a three-week cycle. Even though Mercury is officially out of its retrograde cycle by 1:07PM PDT today and for the several hours thereafter, it is important to realize that this planet will not really pick up any real motion for 24-48 hours. Therefore, keep a low profile on the business front until the coast is clearer and you really know the universe is giving you a green light. Make sure your valuables and investments are safe and secure while the Moon makes its monthly union with Vesta (7:46PM PDT).

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Bea wanted to connect with her aunt, Francoise. They had one of those relationships that picked up where it left off from the time before. There was no awkwardness. Francoise wanted to sit down with her. She's poured tea into porcelain cups. The table was draped in lace and there were fresh flowers in the center. She and Bea shared the love for the more gracious things in life.

Bea was worried because Francoise's body was not found for many days after she passed on. She shares with Bea that leaving behind your body is not much different than when you dream at night. You leave your body, and in the morning you return. She just didn't return. Instead, she was surrounded by those who love her and whom she loves - so many lifetimes of being together. The Angels point out that the separation that we feel in the body is not who we are. We can never be anything but one with each other.

Francoise says dying from illness or old age, is like driving an old beater of a car. One day it just collapses. Everything falls apart. We don't mourn the death of our car when we can drive away in the new luxury model. Dying is the same.

She's had an easy transition because of her willingness to move into another, easier phase of her life.

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Yeah, the above-mentioned movie is really good, but thatapos;s not what Iapos;m referring to. My GF went back to France today, which is a little depressing. She was just here for three weeks, and not knowing when I will see her next kind of (well, more than kind of) sucks. But, I think our relationship is going really well, so Iapos;m not too worried about it. Sheapos;s great.

I got a new bike on Thursday. Itapos;s a Kilo TT (yes, I know), but itapos;s only a going out at night bike, so itapos;s OK. Iapos;d really been wanting a bike I wonapos;t mind getting a little scratched up when going out, and I think the Kilo TT was the perfect choice. Itapos;s actually in the shop right now, getting new cranks, a chainring, bottom bracket, pedals, bars, grips, etc. I ended up spending more on the new parts than I originally spent on the complete bike, which kind of sucks, but itapos;s damn near impossible to find one of those frames by itself.

Oh, I love this band called Hey Monday, and I got a mention in the booklet of the new Lucinda album, which is really fucking cool.

Bed soon.
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