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HOLLA� haha. I dont think ANYONE reads this so im pretty safe. Woo.
Anyways a lot has happened umm... I graduated highschool. FINALLY.� and my life is kinda different now.� im working full time in an office which is ok. Its not that bad. Im falling in and out of love. (im watching cheetah girls. Haha)� and im so confused with mi corazon its ricidulous. This passion drives me insane. I love singing as if it were my lover or my drink. If i didnt have my voice i would literally crawl up and die into a little hole. (so dramatic right?)�but its true if i couldnt sing...oh man the world would go straight to hell. But its so confusing because i dont know how to get there. I wanna try with a band but where the hell do i start...? and i just want to sing on that black stage rocking/jazzing whatever the hell in front of people liking what they hear. I dont necessarily want to be famous. Fame doesnt attract me really. Its like nehhhhhh. :) (bed time in 2 minutesssss ehhhhhhhh)� duuudddeee i wanna go to india now. (sorry)� ahem anyways. I dont know did other famous people say this before they became huge?? i wanna learn belly dancing too...im sorry for the randomness. Ughhhh focus ok but yeah� its just amazing what the heart wants and craves...i wonder if i can feed its need or end up starving my whole life?

Manda Cat.
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Hey guys I just wanted to let everyone know that I may not be very active over the upcoming week. Iapos;ve basically been waiting to the event to end, and the things that Cloud absolutely had to be around for to get over before I did this. Life has been sort of crazy right now, and to top if off Iapos;m sick. Like, really sick. So i just thought I would let everyone know whatapos;s going on. I should be around, reading and keeping up with things, but I probably wonapos;t be interacting much unless itapos;s needed.

I hope to be back in the swing of things soon, and I hope to be able to bring Riku in as soon as things calm down slightly. So again, sorry guys If you need to reach me for any reason, my email is HollowRefuge@aol.com, or if you prefer, my AIM is HollowRefuge, but I think most of you now that already. I hope to be back soon

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So, a lot has been going on. More layoffs at work, which I�wasnapos;t included in, thankfully. That doesnapos;t mean Iapos;m not concerned, because one of my best friends got let go. Sheapos;s doing much better now, though.

In fact, I knew sheapos;d been struggling with work for a while. She hated it there and she was considering a career change, but the current economic situation discourages any change in career these days. But, I was worried about how upset she was, so I brought it up to my Sunday School class. So, we prayed God would give her some direction and peace about it. AND she was fired (laid off) the following Friday. God certainly does work in mysterious ways. Turns out, with unemployment, sheapos;s coming out better since she cancelled daycare and is staying home with her baby. So, praise the Lord

In other news, Tsukasaapos;s sister, Kagami finally showed up, but I�havenapos;t had a chance to take pictures of the celebration that ensued. Rest assured, and Jill can attest to this, the party was cute beyond measure.

I finished two seasons of Initial D in less than a month. I really like it, despite itapos;s obvious flaws. Made me wanna fix up my car, which really only meant putting new bulbs in the fog lamps and waxing her. I�had to fix the Mass Airflow Sensor to pass inspection, which was an expense I couldnapos;t afford, but I�had to do it . . .�

Went to the beach over the weekend. My Mom retired, so we had a little getaway, just the family. It was very relaxing. Go to my Flickr to see pictures from the trip. Unfortunately, there was some trash on my lens or mirror, so every picture had some dust or spots.�

I�gave my Mom a painting for her birthday. Check it out here:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3222/2915608499_9d3ab319f6.jpg

After discussing painting with Cody, Iapos;ve decided I need to seriously pursue a side business of painting. Heapos;s convinced I can sell them and he may be right.

Iapos;m on Facebook now. Itapos;s addictive. Maybe Iapos;ll finish doing something on My Space, too . . . Post some of my music. Which I need to record more of, Iapos;ve been told

Thatapos;s all for now.


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After not updating since February, I ws told to begin this entry this way:

"Wow, havenapos;t updated in a while A lot has changed."

I work at the Peopleapos;s Food Co-operative these days. It only pays about half what I was getting at WF, but itapos;s a non-profit job, not a corporation. I feel good about that. I walk and ride the bus more. I still live in the Elky Noir, but now in room 1. Iapos;m dating a housemate named Cat, and things are going really well. Iapos;ve written a lot of new music (se my myspace, if youapos;d like: search "Damien Goodchild" under the music section). Iapos;ve been playing violin, piano, harp, ukelele and theramin. Iapos;ve been following the presidential race obsessively.

And Iapos;m getting things together to start going to school again. I want to go into Journalism and Broadcasting with maybe a minor in music education. Iapos;d love to be a correspondant for NPR. Or a high-school music teacher or even a music professor at the college level (which I suppose would require a PhD?)

Anyway, folks, I might try to keep updating this more. Or you know I might not. Weapos;ll see.

Please vote on November 4th. Pretty please?
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bargaining geneva

Played 3 hours of 5 v 5 basketball this morning. Split a burrito with Larry after wards. Voted with my mail in ballot: No on the high speed railway connecting Los Angeles and SF (Southwest, come on), yes on billions for supplementing hybrid vehicles, yes on spending money for alternative energy (but if its soybeans or corn Iapos;m going to choke a puppy), no on stuff that generally costs more money, yes on what doesnapos;t cost money. State and National Elections Republican ticket, not that it will matter (thank you electoral college *spit*).

Dinner: Thinking of trying out Pizza Hutapos;s pasta. First page of googleapos;s reviews were unanimously positive. Price sounds great too. Will now make splenda coca + Nescafe instant coffee and work on my take home midterm while watching some college football. Canapos;t wait for SNL tonight.

Also, dad says he lost a shit load of money in the past 1-2 months. Weapos;re not in trouble, but heapos;s definitely upset. This friggin melt down probably cost our family 20 of our liquidable assets (not house and cars). That 11.99 Pasta Hut meal for four is sounding pretty good now.
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don t play with me run

Day 1, The second part of my life.� Iapos;m not really sure where to start.� Today is cold, and nasty outside it seems to very much match my mood.� This is the first time in my life that I feel like Iapos;m lost, without direction in life.� I feel like my career that I started straight out of college although providing well for me, may not be what I want to do for the rest of my life.� I feel lonely even though I have the best friends a person can possibly ask for.� Iapos;m not really sure why I have all these feelings.� The greatest man I have ever known, the person who gave me inspiration to be a better person, to be strong , to be moral, died three months ago.� My father and I spent a lot of time together growing up but ever since I went off to college I didnapos;t see him that much.� I rushed right into my career which moved me to north carolina from michigan so I didnapos;t really get back as much as I should have.� I always thought there would be plenty of time later to take the fishing and hunting trips we would always talk about.� Iapos;ve always lived life without regrets, only learning experiences.� I now see the error in my ways, and wonder of how much of the rest of my life Iapos;m missing.� How many other moments am I passing up on, only to gain these material things that donapos;t bring me any true joy.

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Huh. So, after a my first full week at Imperial, which is incredibly challenging, culminating in an ill-advised dexedrine-fueled all-nighter, when I kinda broke down at 2 am and spent way too long freaking out about the fact that Pamela still doesnapos;t want to be friend or have anything to do with me again, and then drinks with the new maths PhDs where I resolved to start up an Imperial College Go Club, Iapos;m trying to have a good weekend. I didnapos;t really manage to do stuff with my friends here at all, so am kinda having a big night out tonight. Possibly featuring clubbing, which Iapos;ve never done before, but in the general spirit of doing things that scare me, Iapos;m going to do it.

But my granny was just killed in a car accident. Itapos;s unexpected. Given sheapos;s 80, crossing the lane to hit a lorry head on is a pretty good way to go: she died still able to do everything, without apparent suffering. Itapos;s going to be complicated for me to make it up for the funeral, especially since Iapos;ve got a lot of classes, and have to do some teaching and marking from next week, but it should be do-able. Iapos;m ... Slightly concerned by how little this seems to be hurting, but itapos;s going to sink in later and then Iapos;ll have that.

Iapos;m really worried about what this will do to my mum. Sheapos;s still very ill, as she has been for the last two years. Last year, she lost her job because sheapos;s been off for over year, and sheapos;s vaguely directionless. Sheapos;s rather frail, and needs a two hour nap every afternoon to be able to operate. Until late apos;06, when she got a virus and just didnapos;t ever really recover, sheapos;d been very strong, capable, and doing excellent work as a GP. It kills me to see her, at barely 50 years old to be this weak, and I know itapos;s really frustrating for her too.

Since my little sister Fiona left home to start uni a month or so back, sheapos;s been rather lonely. I know having me at home for longer this year was great, and she really enjoyed spending time with me. Losing her motherapos;s going to hit her hard, especially as all her kids have left home and my dadapos;s arthritis has been seriously bad in the last year and a half.

I donapos;t know when the funeral is. Itapos;s crazy how completely unexpected this is.
But then, everything about my life these day seems to make little sense.
Interesting times, I suppose.

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